But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Sunday, September 20, 2009


Black Effendi : "Since I had,in my childlike naivete, no doubt that my love would be reciprocated,I grew exceedingly assured and came to regard the world as a good place. You see,it was with this same earnestness that i involved myself with books, and came to love them, to love the reading my Enishte required of me back then, my religious school lessons and my illustrating and painting. But as much as i owed the sunny, festive and more fertile first half of my education to the love I felt for Shekure, I owed the dark knowledge that poisoned the latter time to being rejected; my desire on icy nights to sputter out and vanish like the dying flames in the iron stoves of a caravansary, repeatedly dreaming after a night of love that i was plunging into a desolate abyss along with whichever woman lay beside me, and the notion that I was simply worthless-all of it was furnished by Shekure"

Esther : "Every idiot assumes there's a pressing circumstance about his love that necessitates particular haste and thereby lays bare the intensity of his love,unwittingly putting a weapon into the hands of his beloved.If his lover is smart,she'll postpone the answer."

-Orhan Pamuk

I'm still flabbergasted at the intensity and repertoire of this feeling called love.. To some,it's a motivating power,a driving factor,an energy capsule,which penetrates into the hardest shells,and consumes it fully revitalising it.. To some,it's just a degrading aspect plunging the already satiated soul into an abyss.. More or less like a nuclear fission n fusion reaction taking the form of the destroyer or the sustainer..

What makes it a subject of contemplation now,is the fate of a very dear friend,who plummeted into shit from the state of reverence..A genius he was,spiritually enlightened,intellectually elated,remarkably poised.Somewhere along he lost himself over to a girl who filled his heart,which then he felt to be void till date.."My love,in its fullness and purity,is for none other than her..not even my parents or siblings shall dare stake their share for it..",were words that escaped his mouth..

For reasons obscure,she denied..the more she ignored him,the more persistent he was..and the more determined he was to prove his credentials.. His crucifixion didn't really last any longer than 6 months when she nodded a yes.. If you, the glorified reader, supposed it to be the end of the story,you are wrong..for it was only the beginning of a fall..

Friends he lost,for she consumed him totally,eating up his money n time..priorities changed..it was not symbiosis,but parasytism..
An imbecile she was,when it came to studies,and he was pride to take up her tutilege..The more he sacrificed himself to bring her up,the more he lost himself..Law of conservation of marks stood ratified,coz every single grade she earned was visibly lost by him,to the extent that she was at par with him in the penultimate sem,and surpassed him towards the end,when he was still grappling with the backlogs ever since his lovelife flourished..

Very few campus romance sustains forever..and sometimes we fail to understand that it's only the grades and the friends we earn in the college that stay by you perpetually..He earned neither..and ironically he lost her too..a mutual break up they call it..whatever it was,he lost himself,his values,his friends,his academic credentials,every goddamn thing for her,only to prove worthless in the end..

Was it worth that?

Khuda Hafiz


Dhanya said...

What happened to your friend is sad. But that doesn't necessarily mean it should happen to everyone.

Obviously, they were poles apart which he must have figured out after they got together. It's when you're compatible with each other and you feel comfortable in each other's presence (without bringing each other down in whatever case it may be) that you feel everything is worth it.

Sandy said...

Woah! Looks your friend had the misfortune of meeting a proper con-woman. My sympathies.
We can only hope that it's made him wiser and that he will be more careful in the future.
Also, depending on the amount of wisdom he's accumulated from the relation, it might actually have been worth it.

Anonymous said...

Can totally relate to this post. Your friend wouldn't have lost anything, though it appears on the outset that he has lost precious years of his life. For such Losing spurs a person on to the path of self-introspection.

The Strength and Love he discovers on that path is the destination that is already covered. Expansion of love is the secret of creation. Such 'Love' directed towards fellow human beings is what made a Gandhi to emerge and Topple the Mighty British Empire.

Who would have that such a frail man could ring in such a colossal revolution. Love is such an incredible force. It knows nothing but 'Healing' and 'Rejuvenation'. The struggles encountered would one day justify the objective achieved!

Losing leads to Discovery and discovery in turn unlocks the doors of bliss and wisdom. This pit-stop is an Intelligent break in between on the Route-Map to Destiny and Success!

Sat_hi_sh said...

As i had expressed in my previous posts "Today's young couples are very emotional in their decision making"

Thare's also a good sayin "To handle yourself use your head for others use your brain"

ur post is rich in the vocab part yaar :)
keep blogging :)

numerounity said...

Hi Gayathri

You have got an amazing blog. I have read your take on Zillionbig' story contest and have posted my own interpretation on my blog. hey I have tagged you as well there...The link is- http://ektakhetan.blogspot.com/2009/09/wake-up-arun.html

The abstract scientist said...

I am glad your friend broke up with his lover. I cannot imagine her living with him all his life and sucking away his blood and soul.
Now that he has learnt of this variety of people, he shall try to stay away from them and concentrate on his life. It is not late at all considering that he is just outta uni. May God show him a girl who truly loves him for all that he is.

The Layman said...

Was it worth it?
Only he can tell :)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

it's good tht ur friend broke up with that girl...its always good to first understand a person, make sure that both of u r compatible and then commit yourself to that person.

HaRy!! said...

well my take is the same!! more than the fruits Love has reaped, i cud only see the pain and agony it has caused!! yep a great feeling no doubts, trouble is never clear enuf!! ...wat say yu?


sujata said...

Failure in love is common and yet each time we fail, it hurts like hell, really wonder was it worth the whole issue..hope your friend gets back to life real quick

Pesto Sauce said...

Sad story indeed

Yup, only friends and grades last...all prospective alliances end with campus life

Sojo Varughese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sojo Varughese said...

Love means different things to different people. can't help it :)

Well written post :)

Gayathri said...

@Dhanya,yeah everything has exceptions right..i was only trying to say that love can be deceptive and detrimental!

@Sandy,aah,the misogynist is happy now that the woman is the culprit!! Yeah,it would be worth owing to the lesson,but i doubt if he takes in that positive sense!!

Gayathri said...

@Surya,seriously dude,i didnt understand anything :|

@Satish,to handle ourselves,if we used the heart,it would end up in such emotional atyachar!!

Gayathri said...

@Ekta,thanks :)

@Jay,but he need not take things that way na..he might even consider this his failure and fall into depression!

Gayathri said...

@The layman,DUH!!

@Gayathri,true,but sometimes haste plays the game well!!

Gayathri said...

@Hary,yeah,true..troublesome journey..but the travellers are happily in trouble..its we the onlookers who feel the pain it seems :D

@Sujata,yeah,but some people take it to serious extents as to fall into depression or resort to suicidal activities which is beyond our control,which is certainly what made me put up this post!!

Gayathri said...

@Pesto Sauce,hmm..
Thanks for dropping by :)

@Sojo,seems you are in the positive plane of love..keep going..
Welcome here :)

Thousif Raza said...

well lemme tell you it was not love at alll ya, really cause when one loves the feeling is completely different, there is just sacrifice and the girl dint do it, so it never was love and the guy was an idiot he dint recognize it earlier enough, cause pyar andha hota hai na

so the guy loved her, but the girl dint, what happened disaster, so if you love someone, be careful too, thats my msgs

miss ya on the blogging circuit be back soon

take care and keep writing.........