Black Effendi : "Since I had,in my childlike naivete, no doubt that my love would be reciprocated,I grew exceedingly assured and came to regard the world as a good place. You see,it was with this same earnestness that i involved myself with books, and came to love them, to love the reading my Enishte required of me back then, my religious school lessons and my illustrating and painting. But as much as i owed the sunny, festive and more fertile first half of my education to the love I felt for Shekure, I owed the dark knowledge that poisoned the latter time to being rejected; my desire on icy nights to sputter out and vanish like the dying flames in the iron stoves of a caravansary, repeatedly dreaming after a night of love that i was plunging into a desolate abyss along with whichever woman lay beside me, and the notion that I was simply worthless-all of it was furnished by Shekure"
Esther : "Every idiot assumes there's a pressing circumstance about his love that necessitates particular haste and thereby lays bare the intensity of his love,unwittingly putting a weapon into the hands of his beloved.If his lover is smart,she'll postpone the answer."
I'm still flabbergasted at the intensity and repertoire of this feeling called love.. To some,it's a motivating power,a driving factor,an energy capsule,which penetrates into the hardest shells,and consumes it fully revitalising it.. To some,it's just a degrading aspect plunging the already satiated soul into an abyss.. More or less like a nuclear fission n fusion reaction taking the form of the destroyer or the sustainer..
What makes it a subject of contemplation now,is the fate of a very dear friend,who plummeted into shit from the state of reverence..A genius he was,spiritually enlightened,intellectually elated,remarkably poised.Somewhere along he lost himself over to a girl who filled his heart,which then he felt to be void till date.."My love,in its fullness and purity,is for none other than her..not even my parents or siblings shall dare stake their share for it..",were words that escaped his mouth..
For reasons obscure,she denied..the more she ignored him,the more persistent he was..and the more determined he was to prove his credentials.. His crucifixion didn't really last any longer than 6 months when she nodded a yes.. If you, the glorified reader, supposed it to be the end of the story,you are wrong..for it was only the beginning of a fall..
Friends he lost,for she consumed him totally,eating up his money n time..priorities changed..it was not symbiosis,but parasytism..
An imbecile she was,when it came to studies,and he was pride to take up her tutilege..The more he sacrificed himself to bring her up,the more he lost himself..Law of conservation of marks stood ratified,coz every single grade she earned was visibly lost by him,to the extent that she was at par with him in the penultimate sem,and surpassed him towards the end,when he was still grappling with the backlogs ever since his lovelife flourished..
Very few campus romance sustains forever..and sometimes we fail to understand that it's only the grades and the friends we earn in the college that stay by you perpetually..He earned neither..and ironically he lost her too..a mutual break up they call it..whatever it was,he lost himself,his values,his friends,his academic credentials,every goddamn thing for her,only to prove worthless in the end..
Was it worth that?