But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Danke schön! Danke!

Ahem ahem..i'm so stuck up with words now.. although there are these words jolting their way down my fingers into the keyboard,i'd already had this word clot which seems hard to melt.. Mind is overwhelmed,but brain fails to express the joy effectively..I'd never done this in my life..all along,throughout my school and college life,for every prize i won,there was no adjoining speech..prize distribution was just about running into the dias and collecting the award from the princi and hence i honed my way into a thankless brat..

Thanks to ZB,i've been awarded by this guy who i admire a lot for his writing style,for the stuffs he puts up,for the wit in a self-degrading manner,for his responsiveness and broadness in encouraging each of his fellow bloggers by timely and zestful comments.. Thanks a lot man,..it does mean a lot..

Now,this is something i never did before,..this acknowledgement part.. when i read his award winning speech,i felt myself a thankless moron,who never made it a point to express her gratitude to people who regarded her while delivering an award..

I apologize for the delay and i thank Thousif, for he was the first one who gave me an award.."Making a difference".. it even made a friend change my name in his contacts from GAY3 to 'mbMAD',master blogger making a difference,albeit all he meant was to pull my legs.. i thank thousif not just for the award,but for all his comments..i'd desperately wished to see a comment in which he actually criticises with an acid tongue which has never happened till date..he always makes it a point to appreciate and encourage others sincerely..thanks a lot man..

I also thank our cute Ramya for her awards..she's been one heck of a writer herself inviting heaps of appreciations and admiration from the peers..

I don't know who to thank for the BOTDA..the guy who delivers it?in which case,i thank the stranger,Bill Austin,who on a fine day commented on a post saying i won BOTD,. :)

Unlike the earlier awards,this one is not an unconditional one!!! It has it's own rules and tag,which i must obviously abide by!So here it goes,
The tag Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post.
3. Post this in one or all of your blogs.
4. Answer the four questions following these Rules.
5. Recruit at least seven (7) friends on your Blog Roll by sharing this with them. (Here i bend the rules,i tag only 4! :D)
6. Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.
7. Have Fun!

Questions & Your Answers:
1. The person who tagged you: ZB(I still don't know his real name,and i doubt if anyone in the blogsville knows that!!)
2. His/her site's title and url: Zillionbig
3. Date when you were tagged: 30th June 2009
4. Persons you tagged: Here,i go by ZB's yardsticks of giving away the award,i.e,based on the frequency and madness factor,i would like to tag,
1)Arun Philip(i really love this guy's posts,every one is goddamn too good and witty!!)
2)Thousif Raza
3)Durga(My dear Joe!)

Thanks again guys :)
(PS:when i say guys,it means both M and F,just in case someone has such a doubt!)

Khuda Hafiz

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life (?)

I don't know if it was my joblessness or my boredom or the adieu to my friends that made me contemplate on it.. I don't think it was pathological.. Neither do i think it was out of a single reason.. May be they indicate the elimination of all the vestige of adolescence..(it's been 2yrs though!).. May be they indicate a new state of maturity in me..

Whatsoever it be,.i was terribly caught in the swirling thoughts..making me helpless to shudder and get out of the hurricane..brain cells tied hard to focus on none but a single topic..

What exactly is the meaning of a life?
Not that I'm the first one making an attempt on it..there had been a lot of people,who in search of it's gist,lived a life,.one, that was not worthy as they thought it would be..

What is the soul reason we live for?Knowledge?Career?Fame?Recognition?Money?Family?Sex?
And where do we end up..in a six foot grave?? Is all the fuss worth that? A lifetime of misery and fray,ego and false-pride?

We meet people,end up being friends or foe,some make our day,some break the heart,some stay with us in our onward journey,but ultimately we end up being on our own..we return with the same solitude as in the womb..

The movie 'The father of the bride' left me crying towards the climax..it was a happy ending,but on a serious note,i started wondering how my reaction would be on leaving my home to whichever-heaven it be..leaving my people,spending each night without seeing my parents,without scratching my kiddo-bro..but ultimately i gotto leave.. So why the heck did i have to be attached to them..to cry my ass off on a parting? Why on earth do we love people if one day we need to leave? Is life as simple as that?

Gita says,'Living should be about fulfilling your responsibilities with utmost integrity,yet without emotional attachment.Be that's a favor or a loathe,you give it irrespective of a kinship.. And when you do,you join the eternal soul.'
So are we bound to live a robot's life?Or is that the real life and ours a farce?

I'm confused! Terribly!!

Khuda Hafiz

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The pestiferous contagious Tag virus..

I was tagged by ZB last week..to enlist at least 10 of those stuffs thats annoying or crazy or at the most making me furious!! 10 would grossly be an understatement coz I'm a very short tempered person,not apparently though..now ppl,who have never seen me red-faced,dont gape at me,i'm one,but you need the royal blue blood to identify that..still,listing them out is a tedious job coz u take an insight about yourself,and redefine all your diminutive emotions to be articulated..

So let's not categorize the post into something abt craziness or fury,but random nuances..
Contemplating on what and how to write is something i hate..i hate that kind of planning in life..it's wonderful being impulsive,right from blog posts to romantic kisses..spontaneity adds to the zest for life..so without giving it much thought,i put up whatever comes first in mind,unlike how Thousif epitomized ladies to be spic and span about all those minute details that make them the veteran story tellers,in his post!May be that's what makes those guys,my friends,say im less girlish,or as FB says,0% girlish,..but 'a real woman feels feminine only with her man!'-Rage of angels..lol..i prefer real ones to the fake! :P

Getting back to dissecting the virus,
1)Liars.. I believe in Khaled Hosseini's words,'When you lie,you steal someone's right to truth'.. Bitter guard is a lot better than sweet poison.. All i need is the reason,not those cheesy toppings that manipulate,twist,and mutilate the truth..

2)It gets on my nerves when people say they had no time to reply or return a call.. They had time notice that the food was salty,but not the fone ringing indefinitely.. It's better to say straightly if you don't wanna talk rather than bluffing around..

3)Hypocrisy.. Gee,the most important of all my abhorring stuffs.. I love it when people say something straight on face.. A killer smile with a background bitching is what i would wanna find the least in people..

4)Judgments.. It's better when people don't put on the judge's attire and give away,'I never thought,'..,'How could you,.." comments,.. C'mon,don't confine people to a stereotype.. Everyone has a unique way of living..

5)MCPs!!!! damn,..i hate those p**s.. what on earth do they mean by saying men are superior to women? men and women are different physically,mentally and emotionally,..even the brains are hardwired differently..what's the point in a comparison even?

6)Thinking about my earliest of all embarrassments,i remember the day when i was five,.i was at the temple with grandpa when that doubt popped into my mind..'Thaatha,whats this kamasutra about?Is that some epic like Ramayana or Bharatha'??? I saw him sweating and looking around at people passing by,with a perplexed face.. My doubt was genuine in that,i was enlightened about all those hindu epics,even when i was a kid,..and this being an obscure one i found in some tv ad,which was not even mentioned at home,aroused my curiousity..Later i found him telling my dad about it and letting out a guffaw.. After some years,i identified what the ad was about!

7)Around the same time,i.e 5yrs,i had my aunt conceiving her second child.. It was when my pompous cousin boasted that her mom was gonna 'produce' a child that i understood what was inside the potbelly.. i felt like a loser to have nothing to retaliate,and my ignorance in biology took over,and found myself saying that my dad was gonna manufacture a kid at my home! I was indignified when she laughed,..but now it not only makes me lol,but i pity my dad,who then had perfect fitness,to have fallen prey for my stupidity..

8)Again,all my crazy stuffs are linked to obscenity,though not because of deliberation..
I was in 9th when Manikandan sir was teaching a sanskrit poem on a conversation between Yudhishtira and Droupadi.. The lady was highly glorified in the beat,as the most beautiful,intelligent,charming,blah blah lady,who was a pativrata,the detailed definition of the adjective following.. When sir elucidated the term pativrata to be,someone who held a single husband physically as well as mentally,i was jolted up without a second thought,.."Sir,how could you then possibly call her a pativrata when she has 5 husbands even physically!"..(not something to be asked in a class where all those teenage boys gape at u with the emotion-mix of kick and incredulity) The query was an innocent one from a non-perverted mind.. But it was late by the time i realized the gravity of my question,and found myself captioned by this comment.. But there's an inexplicable joy in being shameless to speak out what's in your mind..afterall we don't always need a filter or beeper in our mouth..

9)It was when i was in 12th that the power game between the two bio-teachers in the school started,.'A' being super cool and popular among us,and 'B' being a mundane schizophrinic dork.. When the fray was at the peak,'B' wanted to check up with her students if she was really palatable or not,and started approaching each of us individually for the survey of 'A' vs 'B'..When everyone acted against their will to appease 'B', i couldnt help saying upright that i love 'A'!!..the price i had to pay was to sit in all her remedial classes :(..penalty!! But yeah,i was proud that i had the balls to stand upto my conscience!

10)As i said in the beginning,it's hard to list them..i prefer paragraphs to points even in my answer papers..it's hard reminiscing and encapsulating the umpteen craziness that you did when you were a teen diva.. i had been a bit more mature girl at college,but school was my empire,to piss others and get pissed.. but this will do for the time being..

I'm not really interested in passing on the tag.. If so ever someone is interested,please don't hesitate volunteering.. :D

Khuda Hafiz

Friday, June 5, 2009

Exams in the Air..

"Man,is there something terribly wrong?? I mean, 3 out of the recent 4 posts were romance-related.Are you obsessed in romance or some 'prince charming',or you joined the losers' league??"

When I received such an sms from a close friend,i couldn't really blame him,for he was partly right,coz the posts were all related..anyway,it had nothing to do with me..just random observations and bitching..

Enough of paradooshanam..
Lemme get back to 'my life'..
Whats been happening at my end???
Monster Dragon strikes again after long six months of dormancy..
The only difference being,this time the monster gave more than enough time to be prepared for a retaliation..this being the final sem and classes having ended ages back..

Lemme enlighten all those holy souls who are ignorant about the great heritage and tradition of my university..
If it was sheer luck when a guy passed all the papers in a sem exam without even having appeared for one,it was catastrophic when a stud girl had her results witheld and later found her papers missing from the uni(seems it was fed to some cattle!)..no idea what happened next though!

When the classes travel in Ferrari F1 to reach the destination,theory exams come in horse-cart,and lab exams rely on a snail.. by the time we are done with all those,the results of the previous sem would be out..

After all those pain-staking efforts to learn the whole so called 'important and recurrent' topics,the profs would find them interesting not anymore..and we would be awfully awestruck at the exam-hole,oops hall!

Just as some fwd sms says,."Brain is the most outstanding object in nature.It functions 24hrs,365days,right from the day we are born,and stops only when we enter the exam hall!"
How true..
With the brain lobes serving the academics being numbed,the artistic and creative ones reach out for aid and serve the purpose with highly imaginative and creatively elated answers appearing in the answer sheet abiding by the rule of the thumb,'the more you write,the more you score!'

Enough of preface,..
So thats it about the university and the exams..

With my final sem having ended a couple of months back,i was redefining and inventing different meanings for the term 'joblessness' when my exam schedule was suddenly published out of nowhere..
What should i have done?
Either jolt myself straight into studies..
Or relax for a while for the reality to sink in and start studying gradually..
Anyway,i chose neither of the extremes,and ended up touching and caressing my books for a good one week when at last i decided to start studying seriously..

Exam time is quite weird at my end..
With my nocturnal self surfacing strongly,every day would begin with my dad's hollers..
My room being all shabby with photocopies of all those text books lying here and there,..some on the table,some on the bed..(what would i have done but for the invention of the great photocopier!)
PC running 24*7 as a jukebox with some rock playing constantly,just to abstain me from a slumber..and an active gtalk window with frequently changing status msgs..
With the newspaper left untouched for ages,I would rather stay isolated from the rest of the world during the entire period..
(You may not believe if i said that i had no idea abt the racist attacks in Aus,until someone put a related status,lol..)

So exams is in the air again..
Sometimes sweet,if u ask me for it keeps me busy..
Sometimes sour,for i can't be relaxed..
Sometimes bitter,for i have no escape from it's clutches until it decides to relent on its own..

Khuda Hafiz

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Looks can be deceptive,but most are happily gullible..

Men are the most aesthetic beings if you ask me..unlike how the widely accepted notion is..
The ones who truly abide by the theory," Pay attention only to the form; emotion will come spontaneously to inhabit it. A perfect dwelling always find an inhabitant."

So the girls around have two options,
Either trust your looks,(
you can rely on a boy anytime,if you have a promising guise..it doesn't matter even if you are a bitch!)
Or rely on your 'self'..

PS:'If it's the visual stimulus that excites a man,it's the actions of care and concern that arouses a woman!'-Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

PPS:You would have seen Cheeto still sharing a friendliness with Arshi if she were the one cheating on him,unlike how she reacted..there wouldn't have been any emotional explosions and detonations,may be a 'Lets be friends' tag..- You are here

PPPS:I don't believe in this 'Love at first sight' stuff.. Neither does the 'Love just happens' appeal to me..

Khuda Hafiz