"Will you please teach me this chapter..My maths ma'am this year is no better than a crap..none of us understand a shit"..This has been a plea i dread ever since i graduated,aka been joblessly loitering at home...from none other than my brother..
"I can't teach you an entire chapter and all..I aint any professional..May be,i can clear a couple of your doubts"
"But,i understood nothing to have doubts..Don't you get my point?"
"But how would i dexterously TEACH??"
So there goes my 'tutoring' in maths,despite all my cribbing,out of which he scores 39/40,and i earn the name of a naturally skillful teacher,which otherwise should have been something i could gloat over..But as in spiderman,'With greater powers,come greater responsibilities'..If it was just maths that he claimed not to have understood,physics and chemistry were no better thereon..On thorough interrogation comes his excuses,"You know,none of the boys are attentive in the class..What dumbass are you..Had you not been studying in co-education for 16yrs,and still you dunno the basic psychology?"
Now i look dumb,just as he called me..and i realize that he wouldn't relent unless i at least clear his doubts..And hence i ask him to read the text book aloud,and there comes 'spectroscopy' in physics..First doubt!!.."Check dictionary,what the meaning of the term is..If you are still not satisfied,just Google it..that's the modern way of studying"..That's none other than me! I'm truly grateful to the most wonderful of all inventions,Google..
But doubts seldom pertain to just the terms..but encroach to the tougher realms of problems in laws of motion,which can be solved using differential calculus..I start solving the problem,and there comes the next doubt,"What's differential calculus?What's d/dt??"Obviously,the kids have not been taught calculus yet,and physics needs calculus..Screw the syllabus..and i'm doomed,and i teach calculus,to no avail..i ain't any good teacher as my impression is..
"You can use calculators in the college??How lucky you are,we need to do all the big calculations by ourselves!!",poor guy..to which i shower my sympathy asking,"Why don't you use Log tables??"
"Yeah..you so well read my mind!!! I was about to ask you to teach me Log!!! We don't have it in the curriculum you see!"
Oh shit..Stercus Accidit..Shit happens..over n over again in my case..
Those are the times i revere my school teachers..those angels from heaven,some of who appeared to be witches then..who very well cleared my stupider queries without being the least annoyed!
Those days when i was equally non-attentive in the class,with pamela ma'am,not pamela anderson,my chemi teacher,calling my name without raising her head from the book she was reading from,to wake me up from the deep dreamy slumber i was in..and yet be so loving and caring..
Those days when i used to ping on my sanskrit sir with utopian questions,until he would say,lemme refer and let you know later..
The days when my maths teacher,preetha ma'am,the tall,fair and beautiful teacher with impeccable features and sweet voice,and an equally promising brains,burn people with her acid tongue.."Better get married off than getting screwed in maths exam..But beware,married life is tougher than maths exam" used to be her ultimatum..
Those days when my physics ma'am,who was the university topper,would swear at us with words that were unheard of during those days.."Idiotic monkeys" was the commonest and the most decent one..
The only exception being the biology teacher,who people never chose to approach with questions,thanks to her marathon classes which reminds us of hitler's concentration camps..If he knew of her then,he could rather have used her lectures as a better way of torturing..
How did they manage to infuse such knowledge into we block headed nitwits is something that baffles me now!!..If i were to say,teachers in the college,if not all most,need not be included in the list,for i've long realized that we students are a lot more quick witted than they are..People who manage to do not even a single proof without the aide of the books..
"Hey,i have an exam tomorrow..You are anyway jobless right..Just read this chapter in chemistry and get me the gist of it..I'll revise in the morning"
WTF! Do i appear to be some foot board to be stamped by everyone??
PS:Yet another product of my boredom!! :D