But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Another vishu went by.

I hate to think that this would perhaps be the last vishu when i can rightfully claim to go home. I seriously hate this male chauvinistic patriarchal society where you're expected to merge into husband's family, attach husband's surname, and give up your individuality totally. What's this? Some Merger acquisition?! I would rather be Hillary Rodham than Hillary Clinton, or even Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I'd lost my hope in malayalam movies and indian politics. I don't want to deliberate on the latter. But seems like it's the renaissance period for the former. Lately, there have been a lot of good movies,most of which i watched during vishu, with quality, variety and freshness.

Pranayam, indian rupee, salt n pepper, chappa kurish, traffic, best actor.. we did have more than just a couple of good movies.. Initial reviews of 22 female kottayam are also compelling. At last, i see a better future for malayalam films, which extends beyond the nonsense heroism of prithviraj!!

PS: i know there's nothing legible in this post. Please discard.

Khuda Hafiz

Friday, January 27, 2012

..as dear to me as are the ruddy drops..

June 23, 2011
That's when i last visited and posted something here. 7 months passed by, and wrinkles started appearing on my body making me feel older. I suddenly realized that i have been kicking and alive for the last 24 years without a change in status. Everything but the marital status changed. I became tall. Put on bit by bit and became fat, and then obese, and then normal, and then slim. Became dark, and then normal. Grew hairs, and lost them too. Became irritatingly garrulous and then enigmatically reserved and then curt with candour. I started reading. Stopped reading. Started again.

I kept changing, evolving, a constant metamorphosis. The only thing that never changed was the fact that i was single. Not that i gave a damn, but a nut needs a bolt at some point for the fullness. And that was the moment, to be precise,10.45am, 25th Jan 2011, when i had a band sliding through my ring finger and a butterfly sliding through my food pipe which is flying happily in my stomach now ;). We were complete strangers a month ago, who now felt like we were waiting for each other all this while, who assured each other of lifelong companionship. And that was the moment i believed in destiny, the providence, and that marriages are made in heaven!

PS : If i do visit my blogsville in the next 4 months, readers (if any) can expect something on courtship :D.

PPS: I'm struggling to write which i didn't have to, 2 years back :(. I'm certainly becoming old..

PPPS : I didn't like the way Rushdie was treated in the backdrop of Jaipur Lit Fest. But i don't have the mood to vent my frustration in such matters right now. So, dear religion and controversies, see you some time soon.

Khuda Hafiz