But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Friday, August 14, 2009

Encrypted?

She sat beside him..
Silently..
Fighting her uncontrollable urge..
To hold his hands..
Caress the palm..
Lean on his shoulders..
Instead she just stared at him..
Her eyes beseeching..
Speaking a tone of helplessness..
Her unconditional love reaching those painful realms..
Leaning forward she waited..
Without the slightest nuance..
As if reading her mind,he says..
"I don't feel the way you do..
I'm ready to switch into detachment..
I stay by just so that you overcome..
Overcome whatever it was..
Whatever was troubling..
Whatever was blinding..
Not because i feel the way you do.."
She just stared at his eyes..
Hoping to convey her mind..
And without another word,walked out..

I dreamt this scene yesterday..Didn't understand why or what it meant..But i couldn't shudder and get up..Felt myself tight and tied..And when i woke up in the morning,i felt severely dehydrated,with traces of tears on my cheeks..

PS:Wake up news:A girl,who seems not to be a resident, jumped from the 18th floor in the neighboring apartment..again another suicide!

PPS:People pls don't ask me if i was trying my hands at poetry,I WASN'T!

PPPS:As i mentioned in my previous post,i truly have no peace of mind..hence have not replied to any of your comments in a couple of posts..pardon requested..

Khuda Hafiz
~Gayathri~

19 comments:

Durga Nandan said...

I liked the poem.

The M said...

If u find peace f mind, do lemme also knw...
I'm also searching for it desperately!!!

N about the suicide, no comments! Remember what I said yesterday???

Dhanya said...

Hmmmm.... Sad...

Hope you feel better soon :(

ZB said...

PPPP: Nice poetry. Whats wrong in saying you were trying your hands at poetry. We are all trying writers. :))

PPPPPS: Hope to see you come out and into the realms of PEACE OF MIND, soon.

PPPPPPS: Enjoy your trip. You POM would return soon. :)

Gymnast said...

Oh my god..such intense dreams. I hardly dream these days.
Yes .. peace is most elusive. But sometimes it comes after many trials.
Hang on..the dawn shall come

AnjuGandhi said...

very touching expressions. whether poetry or not but very emotinal
suicide most cowardly act. although all of us one time or other have wished to take this drastic step when the going gets tough but just none of us taken this step shows we are all courageous people who have the strenght to fight all odds

Surya Kannan said...

Sculpt into words, your beautiful dreams too. Wonderful expression of thoughts.

Sad part about suicides is when a person becomes ready for death, he loses all fears in that instant. Which could have made him a great force to reckon with, had he lived.

ZB said...

hey suicide is not as cowardly an act as people think and say.

I have never had the feeling of killing myself, well, not seriously. yea just for fun, you know how meandering mind covers all topic which includes suicide.

I have thought of how it would be minutes before a person decides to kill himself. It would be joyful moments. No more burden of life. No more sufferings, no ego, no jealousy, no desires. Just few more minutes of plain life(minus all negative aspects).

Actually i am a coward. I cannot commit suicide. I am a coward because i cling myself to life. I am attached to it and cant forfeit it at any cost.

Suicide takes a lot of courage, unless you are mentally ill. Believe me it does.Was just passing by, thought i would mark few words.Cheers :))

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Hi, came over here from ZB's blog. Liked this post a lot, it was very intriguing. And the poem was nice, too, because it said a little and left a lot unsaid.

Thousif Raza M.B said...

pardon toh nahi milega till you reply :)

but seriously what is up with you, strange dreams, multiple suicides oh my god, i mean i know you are not all rgt, but some how i hope you are

the dream speaks of unexplained emotions like you are holding something back, speak up to a friend abt it gaythri you will feel much much better i promise :)



take care and keep writing.....

Rahil said...

all the best, sometimes it is always better to leave u alone and sort such things out...hope u do it soon !

Amrit said...

Hey Gayathri..let not such dreams bother you to such an extent! After all it was a dream only.

No need to seek pardon for not replying to comments. You just take care and come back strong girl.

sujata said...

Very intense dreams..but the lines are beautiful and most of the times in love the girl does feel this way..call it whatever you may..but these are the feelings. Very well written.

Gayathri said...

@Joe,when i say it's not a poem,u call it deliberately that way eh!!:P
anyway thanks :)

@Manish,yeah peace of mind is available in big bazaar..now on a discount sale..1.5k for 100ml.. :P

Gayathri said...

@Dhanya :)..thanks..

@ZB,sarcasm eh?lol..well,yeah i would be more than happy if u ppl liked it as a poetry.. :)..and the POM crisis is just a temporary business.. :D

Gayathri said...

@Gymnast,yeah i know..this is just a temporary mood swing which would be fixed soon :)
btw,thanks for dropping by :)

@Anju,thanks :)
and suicide needs more courage it seems..to jump from the 18th floor itself makes me faint!!

Gayathri said...

@Surya,thanks :)..and yeah,some people choose the wrong way !!

@ZB,yeah i agree..suicide needs more courage..hanging,jumping from a cliff,cutting the wrist,.all these even make me shudder..may be a cyanide would be better :D..anyway,i dun have the courage for a suicide either :D

Gayathri said...

@Sucharita,thanks a lot for those nice words :)..
and welcome here :)

@Thousif,he he..i'm not nuts..dun worry..just some such emotional outbursts..hehe

Gayathri said...

@Rahil..yeah yeah..loneliness would help u to a large extent..but sometimes it might even make u worse :D

@Amrit,:)..sure buddy..