But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Saturday, July 4, 2009


I'd been into this terrible state of voidness lately,when i'm least bothered about what's happening around or how people are..
But somehow i was nudged from my reclusive comfort by this incident..
There was this guy,an orthologist..Who lived in my vicinity..Who i never met..Who i never knew..Not until he died..or rather,until he decided to end his life..
I was shocked..so were many who stayed around..
It'd been a week since the incident,but i still find me lost in his thoughts..
If education was about bringing up a horde of socially and morally responsible individuals,has it been successful in its mission?
Suicide is a criminal offence in itself..
Moreover,the guy had a family,the wife n kids who depended on him..How could he have been so fragile and flippant as to abandon them..
May be i have not much experiences in life as to see how difficult life on earth is.. but is that this difficult as to end it abruptly without being least conscious of its ramifications or effects on others life?
I was frustrated..rather highly petulant..I'd always thought people of respectable social status would never do something this stupid..Pro'ly it took him a hell lot of courage to do something this grave..Still,couldn't he have fought that moment of hopelessness and stayed his family's bastion..

Khuda Hafiz


ZiLliOnBiG said...

great writeup.i like the way you form sentences using words which leave each phrase multi dimensional in its communiqué.eg would be, **But somehow i was nudged from my reclusive comfort by this incident..**

On content, don’t take me wrong or emotionless, I have gone through such shocks (of very close family member)to a point that I have rendered myself numb. Suicide is a manifestation of several underlying causes. Blaming society alone is not reasonable. If a society can churn out winners a many, why didnt these people turn out to be one? I believe suicide is a consequence of severe mental depression which is an illness.
By default, life on earth is for “survival of the fittest”, and its true for humans as well. If one cant survive and is not a fighter, one will perish. Education does play a role, but some people are susceptible to it, no matter how much wisdom he may have.

Gayathri said...

yeah i do agree..i'm not blaming the society..i'm just getting annoyed at the the way these people find it easy to shirk from their responsibilities that has to be fulfilled in life..he left leaving his kids go astray,and his wife take up his sufferings for the rest of her life..that ain't fair ryt.. if he was a paranoid or lunatic he could ve stayed a bachelor..why pull others into the hardship..

ZiLliOnBiG said...

Yea, you are right about him staying a bachelor.
But many a times marriages happen bcoz of family pressures. I feel its a very complex issue. Who knows the underlying cause. Probably his family could have been the cause. I feel more people are prone to suicide after they are married or with kids. Very rarely i have come across bachelor suicides in our society.( not to take into account kids in schools/colleges after their exam results). probably a sense of disappointment and letdown comes more after they have a family.many times family can become a burden.

these farmers who kill themselves bcoz of huge loans they have taken, probably wouldnt have done so if they were bachelors. They would have simply ran away.Correct me if i am wrong.

Gayathri said...

Yeah right..i agree..may be the chronic bachelors wouldn't be that stupid,coz they have others exits..but who cares if they die..of course ppl would care,but their death wouldnt push someone else into an abyss..
Even here i heard it was some kind of family problem that led him to this..
Likewise, some years back,i witnessed my dad's colleague ending his life,leaving his wife and 2 small kids to suffer..the wife was not even highly educated to work..
There was my frnd's dad who died coz of some probs at work..that was when we are at school..how much would his mom have suffered to educate him later..
All these just make me furious coz i see more of men committing this over women..why don't they feel a sense of responsibility..

Dhanya said...

Suicide is definitely selfish but we can't really pinpoint the reason behind a person taking such a drastic step. I feel it has a lot to do with manic depression. Plus, if his family doesn't understand his condition, his mental health is only going to deteriorate further...

But yes, this doesn't really justify committing suicide. Everything should be talked over. Suicide is a sign of weak character, a sign that the person hasn't been able to confront his problems or talk about them or even seek help openly.

Aw.S.M said...

Suicide is the most cowardly act possible. Life is such a precious gift. There is no end to what one can achieve through it just by Living it. People struggle through problems, pain disease to make ends meet but still enjoy what the great God has to offer and then there r those who simply coz of some minor infinitesimal problem decide to cut it short. Losers i tell you.

I have absolutely no sympathy for such people. Whatever ones problems, when put into perspective with the less fortunate they always seem so minute..and they actually are minute. Distasteful, disgraceful, pathetic.


IcE MaiDeN said...

Hey there. :)
No doubt wht d man did was selfish, but i wish to disagree a lil bit here.

Suicide is the cowardliest act ever, but noone but the person in question can truly tell what led him/her to it. Things are nt as simple as they appear, jhagda ho gaya, life mein priblem hai etc etc, Sometimes life itself a dark abyss that someppl hav no strength to face. It doesnt mean that they were being selfish, simply too weak to accept life the way it had turned out. It just seems like the easiest way out of the mess.

Like i always say, if u havent lived their life, donot critisize them for it. All we can hope is that his family finds the strength to get thru it all.

U write really well :)


Archana said...

Dhanya took the words outta my mouth. I definitely think it is an act of cowardice (the inability to face whatever situation - however drastic it maybe) & selfishness. There are so many suicide cases that happen all over, and I know what you mean when you actually hear of someone within your vicinity committing suicide - it hits a nerve more than it would when you just read a report in the paper. :/

Rajeev R said...

hmmmm....we are in touch with friends who are thousand miles abroad...but we do not have time, for neighbours!!

Well, thats the society in particular, and what technology has done to us....

But I loved your way of presentation..choice of words...and expressing ur emotions...

Hopeless Romantic said...

tk a vreak n get abck

hary!! said...

There is nothing cowardly than suicide... its a way to escape? If you ask me, i'd definitely blame the damn movies for showing scenes that portray the hero and heroins jumping off because their love didnt work out and so many examples!! I bet half the people who end their life do not believe in themselves and rather in fate and luck!! ..God ...anyways..gracefully written as usual! tak care

A. K. said...

Everyone has their own problem. Life is not a bed of roses. Suicide is a cowardly act. Even thinking of taking my own life give me chill in the spines.

~ manish ~ said...

I disagree with most of u.It might seem cowardice to many, but it takes a lot more courage to make that decision to end ur life than to continue living.

"Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live." -Charles Caleb Colton

Something similar happened in our hostel last June. Dunno how many of u read about that in the papers. One of my Electrical seniors committed suicide in his room (we hav single rooms in hostel). He hanged himself on the fan on the last day of the finals exams!!! And noone came to know of it for 3 days until the body began to rot n the smell came. How sad that people dont hav time for others, even in a place lik a hostel where u r never alone. I wonder what it wud b lik in the outside world where everyone is busy building his/her life. No wonder people suicide. I still think, what if someone had knocked or called him just before he did it, would dat hav changed anything??? We call them selfish, cowards; but who is more selfish??? Isn't it we, who never lend them an ear or never really understood the meaning of reaching out for friends just cos we were busy worrying about that perfect figure or 5 figure salary????

"They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice...that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person." - Arthur Schopenhauer

~ manish ~ said...

@ Hary: don't tell me that u don't believe in luck, fate or destiny. When it comes to our case, we take refuge in these things, but that is not applicable to others??? We've been brainwashed from childhood to believe in God, that he will make decisions in our life that will eventually lead us to good, and there is a destiny for everyone, written even before u r born.

How much do u believe in yourself when something bad happens in ur life? How many times have u taken the fall before asking in ur mind, "God, y me?" !!!

Don't blame the movies for all that. It depends on our practicality and maturity also.

hary!! said...

Hi Manish...i do agree on somebits of what you have mentioned,but not everything! I only said that there are some parts in the movies which portray suicide in such a way that most of the people take it up. I agree its upto the individual to decide his destiny and nothing else can influence, but more than half of the crowd out there are always imitate and go by what the movies and other people do. yes God - You mentioned we are brought up with a blind belief in God, and there are so much morals and truth that we learn through God as well, any person who believes God would not end his life up at least.
As for you senior i think its a two sided problem, sure like you said any one of his friends could have called! but how? how would any of his friends in the first place come to know about his distress unless he opens it to them! There sure is a way for everything . Luck certainly has a huge difference in everyone, but does not work everytime!
I do not tend to argue, this just is my view. tak care!

Sainath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sainath said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gayathri said...

@Dhanya,yeah ryt,may be that's more of a mental problem,in which case we can't blame the guy,but somehow i don't feel pacified..

@Amith,very true..we tend to look far ahead of us to sulk on what we don't have rather than be happy on what we have compared to many suffering souls on the earth..

Gayathri said...

@Annie,yeah i may not have a right to comment coz i haven't been on his shoes of responsibility yet..but is this what he lived all these years for?to end everything in a piece of rope?
btw,welcome dear.. hope to see you around :)

@Archana,yeah it may be an inability to confront the situations with courage..but it becomes selfishness when u neglect the people depending on you..

Gayathri said...

@HR,welcome :)

@Hary,i don't mean to say films played the pivotal role in popularizing suicide..but yeah,it did play a role..and i don't intend to say that suicide has sth to do with our hope on believing the luck..if he did believe in the luck and fate,he would not have ended it this way,rather would have chosen to be staunch in his prayers for a better tommorrow..
anyway,thanks for dropping by :). see ya around..

Gayathri said...

@Ak,yeah,true..may be in that respect,we could say the guy was courageous enough to embrace death without fear though he wasnt to confront his probs in life..
thanks for dropping by..hope this ain't the last time u r seen here :D..

@Manish,man,if we want,we can glorify the guy on his death saying he was too courageous to do an act audacious enough which others don't..but that doesnt mean anything worthy..we are all here for a purpose..there's no meaning in ending it abruptly overlooking and ignoring the people depending on and loving you..
and with regd to ur mate,he found it hard to open up,how could others pierce in to find what prob he faces??

Gayathri said...

@Sainath,"Better not wasting the time on these blogs, read/write some useful & funny bloggs to make others happy or be happy. "
If life was all about happiness and fun,we wouldn't realize it's importance..it's the contrast when compared to the misery,that makes us crave for the it..

"better don't spit all these nonsense on the blog area to corrupt young minds.."
I would like to humbly state that,i haven't appointed someone to tell me what to do and what not to..it's my space..and there's absolutely no point in u asking me to cut the crap or whatever u call it..i hope i make sense to you!!

Anywhow,thanks for dropping by..:)

hary!! said...

Hi Gayatri...sorry to keep commenting in yur blog again and again, but am more than interested to see wat are the various views that this blog gets! Am never finding anything wrong with your blog and am just amused at what Manish has said by " His friends were selfish and not giving a call to him when he needs" I agree what yu replied back to him..his senior was more selfish rather than others as he didnt bother to think abt anyone else and only him..anyways do yu mind if I follow yu? :) sooper writing skills yu 've :)

Sainath said...

well gayathri! thanks but i didnt point out you. espcialy manish comment, it looks like ppl are understanding the thoughts in different way.

I can't speak spritual reasoning here, even if i say ppl make fun of them in the name of discussion.

Human Life is a gr8 tresure if we understand how.

I didn't write that comment to hurt anybody. instead of having senti feel abt the life better have practical approach.

I can't say anything more here. but any way thanks for ur smiley.. :) it show ur an optimistic..

Amrit said...

Very nicely written Gayathri.

Well, undoubtedly suicide is a coward step, but again no one can understand what that person would have gon through which compelled him to take such a drastic step.

Human nature is so complex..no one can understand it. Sometimes the strongest of the lot resort to such a drastic step. :(

By the way, cheer up lady!! :)

And hello, what happened to our discussion? The invite is pending at your door-step.

~ manish ~ said...

@ Hary: I should say that he was the most selfless person I had seen. At a moment like the one he went thru, u wudnt be in such a state to call upon someone and let ur heart out. There is a bit of psychology in that. There is omething called the Yellow Ribbon Foundation. http://www.yellowribbon.org/
If u can, please try 2 know how it came into existence. Then u'll understand better.

Shehas was such a sweet person. If u dont see ur classmate, who is in ur hostel, and he skips an exam and he is missing from the farewell party, and sees his room locked from inside, what will u do?

If someone sees a movie scene n tries to depict scenes from that, its not that he is selfish or coward, he is dumb, and immature.

And for all what it may seem, I don't believe in god, neither do I believe in luck, destiny or fate. Everyone is the master of his own life and its actions.

And don't take these views personally. :-) TC

@ Gayathri: after someones death, whats the use in doing a post-mortem on his life? The biggest problem with us humans is that we pke into the wrong places looking for answers to wrong questions. And ur personal view that we are here for a purpose,I cant accept that cos I don't believe in that. What is the purpose of a still born baby? Bring grief to its mom?

@Sainath: u dont deserve words! From ur over reaction, I guess u would be the first one to break down. U r really weak at heart. :-)

Zeba Talkhani said...

I can never figure out how a human mind works. There is no logic. There is no systematic explanation or reason behind a person's decision. In the sense, we can not generalize. What has happened is really sad.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Well, you never know what they have been going through...

Actually without knowing a person personally, its difficult to say why, how,when, what about a incident and reasons behind it.

Few are very weak mentally, and they end up doing such things. I would say, they should ahve discussed things with frnds,family to make a conclusion over what should be done...

Talks always end up in something better sometimes...

BTW what does seppuku means..? :-P

See you around :-)

Thousif Raza M.B said...

Pains and sadness is just another part of life, you just have to think before comminting as horrible as a crime as this, that is suffering better than happiness????

if one can answer that question, nobody would even think of doing such a thing as suicide,

and for a man of that age and education, he should have seriously thought before doin something like that

nice write up gayathri.....

take care and keep writing.........

sm said...

reality of life
i do not support sucide,but just i thought what was the reason he commited sucide,who is responsible for this?

Gayathri said...

@Hary,my pleasure :)

@Sainath,it wasnt a senti feeling..it was a frustration on ppl's irresponsibility..and yeah,i don't moderate the comments here only becoz i believe it's a visitors right to say what he felt..likewise,i wouldn't like someone to control me too..
anyway,hope to see you around..

Gayathri said...

@Amrit,yeah human mind is sure,complex..and that's pro'lly what i was trying to dig into here..
btw,was that u who added me some days back?i rem to have rejected some request which i could.t identify..

@Manish,every person is the part of a puzzle without which it's hard to complete the puzzle..

Gayathri said...

@Mahesh,ppl have a lot of problems,..many even struggle hard to make out a livelihood..and still manage to live..suicide is never a solution to anything..
sepukku means harakiri,a jap word :P meaning suicide..
thanks for dropping by :)..hope it's not the last time.. :D

@Thousif,yeah thats what..owing to his maturity due to education and age,he could have been a bit more sober..

Amrit said...

Yes. I did..and I left a note as well. :(

Shall I assume that I won the discussion now :)

Amrit said...

Listen..the hyperlink on my name will take you to my abandoned blog (some two years back). That was just to use my gmail id.

Gayathri said...

@Sm,yeah who knows..
thanks for dropping by :)

@Amrit,man,when i click on ur name,it takes me to ur wordspress page..nowhere else..mail me so that i would know it's u..

workhard said...

Hi Gayathri..

I know.. how disgusting a feeling is when u learn that someone has commited suicide.. These people are irresponsible because they leave behind a lot of pain to their families.

Work from home

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