But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life (?)

I don't know if it was my joblessness or my boredom or the adieu to my friends that made me contemplate on it.. I don't think it was pathological.. Neither do i think it was out of a single reason.. May be they indicate the elimination of all the vestige of adolescence..(it's been 2yrs though!).. May be they indicate a new state of maturity in me..

Whatsoever it be,.i was terribly caught in the swirling thoughts..making me helpless to shudder and get out of the hurricane..brain cells tied hard to focus on none but a single topic..

What exactly is the meaning of a life?
Not that I'm the first one making an attempt on it..there had been a lot of people,who in search of it's gist,lived a life,.one, that was not worthy as they thought it would be..

What is the soul reason we live for?Knowledge?Career?Fame?Recognition?Money?Family?Sex?
And where do we end up..in a six foot grave?? Is all the fuss worth that? A lifetime of misery and fray,ego and false-pride?

We meet people,end up being friends or foe,some make our day,some break the heart,some stay with us in our onward journey,but ultimately we end up being on our own..we return with the same solitude as in the womb..

The movie 'The father of the bride' left me crying towards the climax..it was a happy ending,but on a serious note,i started wondering how my reaction would be on leaving my home to whichever-heaven it be..leaving my people,spending each night without seeing my parents,without scratching my kiddo-bro..but ultimately i gotto leave.. So why the heck did i have to be attached to them..to cry my ass off on a parting? Why on earth do we love people if one day we need to leave? Is life as simple as that?

Gita says,'Living should be about fulfilling your responsibilities with utmost integrity,yet without emotional attachment.Be that's a favor or a loathe,you give it irrespective of a kinship.. And when you do,you join the eternal soul.'
So are we bound to live a robot's life?Or is that the real life and ours a farce?

I'm confused! Terribly!!

Khuda Hafiz


Vyazz said...

Ahhh...the ever eternal question that leaves us pondering. Life's purpose. I cannot speak for others, but in my opinion, the purpose of life, and the purpose of being human is to be able to reach out and enrich the lives of those around you, in which ever little way we can. I do not mean to sound like a messiah. But I guess, as mortals, we are given this little time upon the earth, to leave our footprints immortalised in the sands of time for good. Life is all about living, and not existing in a crummy job or a crummy relationship. Its about going after what the heart wants.

ZiLliOnBiG said...

I can very well understand this. I guess its your age, i was more confused than you. I was spiritual and yet uncontested with life.I was seeking moksha and enlightenment. I wanted to run away to himalaya or roam around the world seeking answers to queries like, why i am in here ( and not in Bipasha basu's house) and who am i, why was i brought to earth, whats life? etc.

If we take universe as a whole, we are inconsequential. We are not even dust.All this false demeanour , the character mask we wear, the accumulation of wealth , the chase behind what we think is luxury, are just our illusion of our world. Mere illusion or maya as Bhagvan Krishna calls in Bhagvat Geetha.

Your ponder is first step towards liberation. Read more on Buddhism or Vivekananda or western philosophy, and you would get an idea that all great thinking started with the basic question of ‘who am i?’ and why are they in this world.

This is your spiritual journey and you have to take it all by yourself. Take the spiritual journey and you would notice that you would be happier than before and contented in life. Gud luck

AnjuGandhi said...

we all go through such phases in our life. Many a times I also feel the same. more specifically when feeling lonely or depressed.

Dhanya said...

Hmm... looks like you're at that phase when you question life and its purpose. I guess I blogged about how confusing life is some years back...

You will get all the answers slowly but surely! Till then have a nice time discovering the deeper meaning of it all :)

DPhatsez said...

hmm..Introspection mode eh? Been there, blogged that.
'The journey of discovering true meaning and purpose' is life.
Look's like the girl is gone and a woman stands in her place.
Good luck on your journey


Aw.S.M said...

hehe...we have a vivekananda in our midst people :P....the purpose of life is simple...to enjoy it to the fullest, to take the good with the bad and then learn from it, to sacrifice, to recieve, to give, to accept so on n so forth...

dont tell anyone i told u this ok :D....top secret stuff :)


K. said...

I love your deep thoughts! I often wonder the same things...

I enjoyed your post...thanks,

Archana said...

Just happened to chance across your blog...and the whole "my joblessness or my boredom or the adieu to my friends that made me contemplate on it"..I'm in the EXACT same situation! And what's even weirder, is I actually watched 'Father of The Bride' pretty recently. And that's an old movie. Strange coincidence!

Though I have to say, that movie did get me thinking. I'm my Daddy's little girl, and I know the day I get married he's going to feel like "Mr.Discontinued", like Steve Martin so aptly stated.

Regarding your post, there's a 101 reasons we live life. I know I live life to love, feel & experience everything that makes us human. Whether that's climbing up the career ladder, or raising a family. Whatever it maybe, I'd want to do it with no regrets and live life to the maximum. :)

Gayathri said...

@Vyaz,i agree..but what next then??like what epics say,join the eternal soul?

@ZB,don't take me wrong,it was not that i wanted to roam around the himalayas in search of meaning of life or be a sanyasin..but,everytime i part someone,i keep thinking the same way..if this was supposed to be the destiny,then why did we go thru all those good times..

Gayathri said...

@Anju,no,im not depressed or feeling lonely..but seriously,im in that kind of thoughts..

@Dhanya,yeah,im enjoying this introspection..

Gayathri said...

@DP,nay..the girl has gone nowhere..just the woman tries peeping out at times :D..

@Amit,yea yeah,top secret!deal!! :P
btw,it was so simple to be a vivekananda??whoa!! cool!!\m/

Gayathri said...

@K,thanks for dropping by dear,..wish it's not the last time you are seen here.. :D

@Archana,firstly,Welcome to my space :)..
yeah truly,strange co-incidence..
but it's not the reason to live that i was in search of..what were the reasons for?we struggle for an exam which has the result published before-hand.. alright,i know i'm making absolutely no sense..pro'lly deeper thoughts would bring out something better.. :D
Hope to see you around :)

Durga Nandan said...

been thinking about this goddam question for almost 6-7 years now. and still very near what i started.
ok. i ll tell you what i feel.
life is all about living to the fullest. do what you have always wanted to. if it means breaking rules, break them. dammit.
but be ready to face the conseq.
now, where it would lead you, or what purpose this would serve,
well, at least i wont regret my life. or the way i lived. cos i lived it to the fullest.
btw, my fullest may not be your fullest. it depends. and my limits may not be yours.
so, finally, i decided on experimenting. on life.
hope this helped some way.

Durga Nandan said...

n yeah, trust me, the next step is moksha. you will search for it soon. am on that path now.
though i dont look like a spiritual being. or do i? :?

Thousif Raza M.B said...

we all live for a reason yaar, its just we have to find it "before we die" ;)

we are all confused gayathri, but this post was really nice and i felt very much at ease, i donno why but i did.....

great writing yaar, its good to see you back writing so blissfully as this :)

take care and keep writing......

Amrit said...

Hmmm...so someone is in introspection mode!! I was going through everyones comment and I am actually thinking...am I the only one whose mind dint pop this question?!

I am glad, I read this post of yours..i just realized what is my purpose in life?!

And to be very frank..i really dont like this concept of women leaving home (not that I am in favor of men leaving their homes after marriage :) ). But whats the way out?

Zeba Talkhani said...

Wow. A very eye opening post. has got me thinking as well!!

Gayathri said...

@joe,yeah man,i thot abt salvation for a while..but then,when i became busy with exams,i found no time to struggle hard to attain it..:D

@Thousif,yeah,it's the reason that im trying to find out so that i can at least live a day knowing the cause before i die!

Gayathri said...

@Amrit,kya kare yaar..jaana hi padega.. :( :(

@Zeba,and?reached a conclusion?? ;)

Amrit said...

May be find a guy in the same vicinity where you are residing!!!

Just a thought. :D

ajji said...

oh gayatri are you the one from dombivli --- be from datta meghe ? - nice to read this blog -- and umpteen comments -- from the contemparary groups mainly the indian diaspora --the fact that half a century later also the educated youth feel the same about life and its meaning
i feel LIFE does not like questions -- pl do read the gulista of sheikh sadi of the 12 th century --- i found the answers lately IN THAT --- and recommend the Same to your friends and co bloggers --- it should be on the text book of the HSC --