But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Friday, May 29, 2009

Metamorphosis

Adolescence is a very interesting period..with all those visible and invisible changes,with all those increased consciousness of the self and pronounced importance for the individuality,with all those elevated concerns on the savoir faire,with all those recurrent mood swings and mental storms,it marks the great grand transition to being recognized an adult,to being valued as an individual and contributes profoundly to one's character formation..You try experimenting stuffs,develop the kind of craving for stuffs which you otherwise despised,get yourself f***d up umpteen times,yet laugh at it sportively..Yeah,teens is the best part of one's life..

Observing the kind of metamorphosis impassively is quite easy,funny actually..but being a part of the change is one heck of a hardship,if u ask me..

I was in fact amused when my bro started getting tantalized by all those accessories,perfumes,costumes, which otherwise never perked him up and invariably ogling at the opposite sex.. We had always been quite friendly despite the 5yr gap.. More than friendliness,there was this care and affection taking over.. And he in return kinda respected my words,and gave me immense say in his stuffs.. And suddenly i was confronted with his 'self' peeping out demanding a lil more prominence.. He was no more to be taken for granted.. And he and his words were to be treated with a lil more regard..

The confusion and imbroglio amid us were evident from the frequent verbal exchange and cold wars.. I always thought it were his extravagant and escalating needs which brought me into tiff with him,..i thought he was being incorrigibly arrogant.. I thought he was becoming a brat..But deeper contemplation reveals my fault.. My mind still doesnt accept and adapt to his new grown-up state.. He still remains to be a kid in my mind who needs immense care and protection when what he really needs is support and guidance.. My ego holds me back from respecting and accepting his opinions on issues..everytime he comes up with one,the word rankling at my mouth would be to shut up and mind kids' business..

When i were on his shoes,me and my words were dealt with a lot more heed by my parents and yet i demanded more..and ironically, i fail to regard my bro with the same reverence as to a peer.. Sometimes my affection comes out as maternal and becomes pretty disgusting.. May be he deserves a better treatment..

PS:To all those who stopped by,my post might seem nothing more than some whimpers ..but i'm getting overwhelmingly involved with all those unrest..

Khuda Hafiz
~Gayathri~

11 comments:

ramya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ramya said...

oh! I dont know what to say, because my words are heard before anyone's ;-). My sister included in all the anyones
But, considering younger ones like a 'kid' in so normal. My sister still tells me that i have not changed at all (huh?). I always smile when she says that and accept it. I hope your brother is also like that.
Coming to fights, they are just a normal thing. me and my sister have very dirty fights. One day,when mom saw us arguing, she told us that she would give each of a us a broom and lock us in some room so that we can fight!

AnjuGandhi said...

hey, You should be able to undertand the turmoils of your brother as you have been through this phase. I have seen the same sort of attitude, amongst my both the children,. just wait in no time he will become your soulmate, and you will become more close to him emotionally than you were before and you will not hesitate to open your heart to your younger brother as you will find him more accetable and understanding. Just be little more tolerant towards his mood swings, his new found arrogance, his ways of showing off and stop treating him with kid gloves but take him as a young adult and then see the metamorphsis

Thousif Raza M.B said...

hey i would say, you are getting better, you know what your mistakes are, rgt?, in the end i know you will make a rgt decision, i know its going to be hard but i guarentee you, that you will feel better once you have taken the decision, until then,

take care and keep writing.....

Aw.S.M said...

My question to u is..are u planning doing something to set things right? Are u going to listen to him more? Let him be his own man/boy?.

As an alder sister i guess it must be hard for u to see him as anything other than your cute lil baby bro..but u need to give him his space. I guess thats the most important bit. After all teenage is always the hardest phase rite.

luv
amith

ramya said...

I was just seeing that horse in your template. It IS moving!
Geez...i am so very addicted to that horse! it might be my umpteenth comment telling you that its moving! But, I want a conformation now, isn't it moving? or am i cracking up?

Sriram said...

Siblings?!?!Oh!! Gawd!!What can i say!!? And moreover, i feel that you will dismiss my comments and trash it even if i try throwing my fingers at it!! The reason you know better!!

Im overwhelmed at my own decision not to go hammer and tongs over this topic.I'll leave space for those who have the right to do so!!

Anyhow,Great going.......

Cheers,
Sriram

Gayathri said...

@Ramya,it's not just about being heard dear..it's about the masculinity,the trait of taking over..and it's tough for others to let someone who till now was submissive,to be at par with us in important discussions..

Gayathri said...

@Anju,yeah i know that..he's damn sweet,than many of those guys of his age..and that makes it even more difficult for me to realise that he has grown up..

@Thousif..surging through the right path is getting gruesome man..

@Amith,i know,but that 'giving space' is whats troublesome..i'm not able to keep myself shut on every occasion..

Gayathri said...

@Ramya,man,u r getting way too obsessive with my cowboy..lol.. i wish my layout was a 3D image :D..

@Sri,it's after ages that u r coming back here..so busy huh!!yeah,you better be silent about sibling stuffs,..but u can enlighten me on adoloscent boys ryt..

jaggu said...

hey u kno wat... i had this same thin @home with my younger bro... i used to call him a kid all d time n he used to shout @ me back 4 that... But once wen i stopped treatin him like my baby n more like a friend, the whole ambience changed..

Try it out... u will have a true friend/bro in one person then...