But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Romance Shits!

It had become long since i've really enjoyed attending a function outside my close family..I hate dressing up like a puppet and squander at a place where i have none to at least jovially schmooze with..the scene waiting for me would be some old maamies competing with each other to ask me when i'm gonna get married..goddamn that question!i loathe it..even if that's not a brahmin function,i'll have some 'wellwisher' asking me the same..
What i hate even more is the feast that follows.. not that i hate the food,but i hate the waiting time,i hate the messy sounds and i hate the dirty surroundings which is inevitable after the first round of the food..

Every time i see an invitation card lying fresh on the table,the first thing i would do would be to fix myself an engagement to evade attending that function..and my proclamation of a busy schedule would be invariably followed by a long advice of social etiquette and social commitment and social craps which shouldn't be shirked by either or both of my parents..And in a community where anything right from birth to death,engagement,marriage,sheemandam,shashtipoorthi,shathabhishekam,blah blah blah, is an 'occasion', it has become a nerve-racking venture to be safe every time..

Now that i'm having vacations,i'm made to go through all these shitty stuffs myself..Although i didnt agree upon every single invitation,one or two local ones were unavoidable which otherwise would cost me a court-marshall..and i started wondering why can't these people have a register marriage and avoid all these fuss with the wealth..huh!weird right,..even i'll have to be a part of this game in a couple of years..
The bride all dressed up like a mobile jewellery shop in all those glittery silk sarees which would be like being in a blast furnace during this peak summer..The groom will have the stereotypical cream silk dhoti..The relatives would all be running around showing off their robes as well..funny i should say..

Anyway,there were these two marriages which fell into the unavoidably important creed..
One was of a girl from my neighborhood,with whom i was told to have played some games in the childhood..not that i forgot those days,but that there's not even faded footprints left of those days in our relationship..the only remaining mark is the smile we never fail to pass each other..
This girl was not that pretty and all,but had some attraction..dark and all she was,but there was some kind of magnetic aura around her..flirtish and all she was,but she never ran out of words,at least to beat upon the bush..So when i heard she was getting married,i was not totally blanched,at least because i had that cynical mindset about this girl that all she was living for was this day..But what was a blindsiding blow was to know that she was marrying a taxi driver she met when she was in 10th std..roflmao..i couldnt help myself..I didnt even have that kind of feelings when i was of that age..lol..since she was financially well off,i had the feeling that she could have secured a better alliance,but for this guy somehow made it to the Gulf(no idea what and where in the Gulf!!)..anyway,that was a love story ending up in a comedy..thanks to her fortitude and determination..

There was this second paradoxical marriage which was of a close pal's..this one was something i was looking forward to attend,just for the heck of meeting my old friends..even the thought was exhilarating.. :D..this bride was also a romantic heroine,who fell in love as early as in 7th std..pretty,fair,financially too strong,and the scion of a very reputed family..but sadly ended up being a loser..practical problems demanding compromises..

Anyway,the two marriages within a gap of a couple of days kept me contemplating..what was the driving factor behind love??Looks?Money?Brains??or is there anything at all??or is that a feeling just out of nothing which can be bestowed upon any tom dick or harry that u meet??huh!!Love at first sight..rofl..!!
I was baffled at how people end up falling for someone who on a serious note would certainly not be a working model..why end up exhausting all the energy on a project which definitely wouldnt work on the evaluation day..and what was even more queer was the feelings people develop even before attaining puberty..huh!!atrocious!!ain't marriage a lil more serious affair to be thought of after having a more matured outlook about life?

Disclaimer:The post was not meant to be offensive to anyone..and may be my views are not appealing to you,in which case,just ignore and move on..

Khuda Hafiz


DPhatsez said...

First time: hi!
Second: Love the blog layout! 'specially the John Wayne feel with the coyboy pic :)

Wrt your post, 'Love is Blind'
Although i'm pretty sure no one knows what 'love' is nowadays.
I'm guessing you're a tambram which makes all your whinings justified(believe you me, I've attended all the mentioned functions)

Will wait for your post once you're hitched.
'dressed like a mobile jewellery store' LOL!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Oh! I didn't know you were a Bhramin girl!
Its so much fun to be with snobbish maamies and hear their conversation. The best one till now is "how you came".
Out of all the functions I have attended, seemandam is the best one! There is no need to have company for that function. The stuff that they do to the main lady is more than entertainment, you know, balancing coins on head and making her wear tons of bangles and all!
And, asking for marriage is normal! I have heard that functions are marriage-fixing places also. They see a girl in the functions, like her and then ask for her horoscope! Just heard it, never saw such a thing happening!
That girl got married to a TAXI DRIVER? Ridiculous! How can some one financially fit do that? Oh, love is indeed blind, in this case, TOO much blind!


proclamation of a busy schedule would be invariably followed by a long advice of social etiquette and social commitment and social craps which shouldn't be shirked by either or both of my parents

real funny stuff

god , must say i luv ur blog layout , totally .......also , me a brahmin too ...so recognize with ur plight ......

if the display pic is urs
girl ur really pretty.
sumhow pretty girls like u , dont fall in luv .........maybe coz they know everyones waiting by the lane to catch them when they fall

taxi driver??LMAO ......... she wld gift her son an auto then probably

great stuff
luvd it !!
kudus to u
keep writing

ZiLliOnBiG said...

you lucky, vacation?? I wish, i wish. Me too hate going for marriages, million of unfamiliar faces all asking, "WHO ARE YOU?" QUITE PLAINLY, isnt not in kerala? The have to explain, which house, which Nair, which taravadu, etc. Ohh, i havent lived in kerala hence the dilemma.Nice post TC:)

Gayathri said...

@Arun,Hii,and thanks for the comment on the layout..it's a highly criticised layout for being too loud and not soothing..happy to know that someone did like it..
And,in my opinion,love is not blind and all..blind love would end up pushing the lovers into ditches..

@Ramya,lol,you didnt know i was a brahmin,pro'lly coz i didnt have the tag behind my name,.. :)
And,u know what,during my bro's upanayanam or sth,my dad was asked for my horoscope for a guy who was close to 30..damn..i said im never gonna go for a guy whom i'll have to call thaatha soon..

Gayathri said...

@Photogenic devil,first of all,didnt find ur name anywhere??i dont think it's that bad,is it?? ;)
sadly enough,the dp is not me.. :D..celebrity pic and plagiarism..lol.. anyway,i don't deny that part of ur comment that says im pretty :D..
Thanks for dropping by buddy.. :)

@zillionbig,.you too,where is your name man :D..???
And yeah,all those are constantly encountered questions..plus a lot more as i said if u r of a 'marriageable' age..
and i didnt get it,you havnt been to kerala,and how come u say stuffs happening in kerala??

Som said...

7th std is too much ... 10th is still fathomable (I guess one reaches puberty by then :)...

Great Indian Marriage Circus ... it is surely something on which you can write posts after posts ... :)

The Taxi driver story is straight from Bollywood ...

Gayathri said...

@Som,man,even i was abashed..filmy and all it might sound..but she and weirdly her family decided to go for the guy..huh!!lol..life is all a thamasha..

AnjuGandhi said...
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AnjuGandhi said...

i enjoy going to marriages. at least it gives a chance to air our forgotton clothes and jewellery.
it is truly said love is handicapped.
i just cant imagine how can an edcuated person belonging to a somewhat financially sound family get married to some taxi driver or so. makes me really wonder what the young one see in the opposite sex and what is it that attracts them? and moreover for this physcial attraction they severe their ties with their parents . may be I am getting old and can not understand the young ones But hey even in my college days we had the same story. i had a frnd in my post graduation who got married to a X pass bus conductor. i have nothing against any profession but atleast think about the disparity in the background and then take your decision

Anonymous said...

god god! 30-?? :-O!!
You should have tell your dad that there are many young guys also!
So, at last. i heard a marriage-fixing news from a function! Damn! nothing like that happened in my family!

rameez said...

The German word for 'hypocrite' is 'scheinheilig'.

Gayathri said...

@Anju,nay,you are not being old and all,..even i have the same opinion..at least something in common has to be there ryt..some common background,culture,tradition..which is at least palatable to our parents..huh!!atrocious!

@Ramya,yeah,my dad knows me better and the proposal was rejected then n there stating some lame excuses..diplomacy..lol..

@Rameez,I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE..and you know that better!!!!
you too Brutus!!!!!!

Thousif Raza M.B said...

well i too do the same, evade every function, but not for the same reason as you, though :P,

i knew you were good at writing politics, but this post made me laugh real good ;)

and seriously, marriage in india especially in some towns is getting more and more of a child's play, god, dont these people have brains????

cool post yaar

take care and keep writing.....

Aw.S.M said...

Sorry i m late.

Aah yes its that time again eh back home. Marriage season has kicked of again. Like u i too avoid these functions frankly because except for the sadya i find everything else extremely boring and i toh dont even know half of my relatives..so u know how wierd it can be rite .

Anyways...answering your question on love...love is beyond caste creed,class , wealth. looks etc etc..i dunno what attracts a person to another but u know its love when u just want to be with that person forever and ever..very cliched i guess..but thats how love is.


Ninoy said...
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Ninoy said...

Seriously Shtud Post!

And interesting anecdotes... Though I am of the opinion that these "just-love" based marriages are becoming rarer these days...
I personally know of an incident where the girl decided to elope on her wedding day, and allowed the entire charade of the marriage ceremony to go thru until the exact time of the wedding, just as a back up option; a true Plan B, in case the eloper elopes.

She had even given a personal "yes" to the 'bridegroom'

Poor guy was left staring
Some girls, I suppose, are just smart. :|

Gayathri said...

@Thousif,lol,i'm good at writing politics??!! wow!! thanks dude :)

@Amith,huh..finding someone attractive on a pathological basis!! ain't it a disease ;)

@Ninoy,lol..smart girl,though i sincerely pity on the groom :D..

Balaji said...

well Gayathri, When r u gonna get married....?? First is engagement and marriage. But u r so keen in sheemandham, sashtapoorthi and sadhapishekham:-)Cool.. May be, u don't hv much hope in love or romance. But u can't stay without a partner for long time. Rite..?? A life partner plays a keen role in exploiting ur surroundings and he keeps u warm by heart. Being a brahmin, pls read Ashtapathy (romance of Radhe and Krishna) U ll surely think abt marriage. I m sorry if i was wrong. Cheers. Life is beautiful.

Durga Nandan said...

well, i thot u said differently abt some things elsewhere. hypocrisy? :)

anyways, i pity the taxi driver. he is gonna have to struggle a LOT to fall onto her expectations soon.or she will have to keep up. god help them with real love. or they will fall apart.

but trust me, real love has no barriers. but its always btr to have an eye open. be blind on the other eye. ;)