But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Friday, April 2, 2010

Writer's Block!

Apr 5th..
I complete a semester of successful career in software industry..
An advice that every tom dick and harry gave generously was never to stick to this field..
Do an MBA,someone says..
When are you getting married,someone else asks..
Start teaching in a college,another someone suggests..
Write PO tests for the banks,none other than my banker dad instructs..
Right since oct 5th did i start wondering what was so very wrong with this job that every single person i meet suggests me otherwise..Did it not pay handsomely..Did it not give job satisfaction..Reverential status..
All along the roller coaster training that lasted 6 months,which witnessed my terrible ups and downs like never before,i scratched my head trying to find reasons to prove that this was not a place worth showing just the backs to..

But by the time i finished the training to start the real work,divine intervention got into the play to make me understand that,software industry was like a shit-pit..no one likes it..but no one can do without it..
Not much of a clairvoyance is required to identify a software guy in the crowd,for mostly in cities like Bangalore,therez a probability that 70% of the people u bump into will be a s/w pro among which,a mallu is 90% probable to bump into another mallu ..a guy walking with a headset constantly in action and doesn't mind ignoring the balance from a street vendor would mostly zero to a s/w pro..

The salary account,that gets refilled by the end of every month,blinds you from getting out of the pit..and you toil,day in and day out,as if you would be awarded a khel ratna at the end of it,thus sacrificing whatever whims and fancies used to adorn your life and fill it with substance.. You keep murmuring to yourself the words of consolence and solace to pull on,saying it's how the flow of life is..But not until you are really crushed out of juice do you realize that it is the coffee that matters and not the make of the mug..

PS:Month end definitely does make me happy.. and I'm till date not that very frustrated about where i'm coz the kind of friends that i made during the training and the fun i had with them were not the least comparable with the 22 years of experience i had on the globe..Kudos to all of them..

PPS:I wanted to restart blogging..Thought for a while..Thought for a longer while..About what to write..or at least what to crib..But that was when i understood that i had to revisit the kinder garten to restart writing the craps again..Reminded me of  Nikolai Gogol,the Russian writer,who starved himself to death on finding that he was into a perpetual writer's block from which he had no escape(Though he would suicide a second time on finding that i dared comparing him with me!!! :D)..And hence the crap!!

Khuda Hafiz
~Gayathri~

3 comments:

ZB said...

Ha! welcome to the real world....Remember my post on retirement. I had mentioned that i wanna retire by 45 and everyone commented- never say retire, my dad worked till 75..etc.....I share the same feelings.

Every field looks good from a distance...its the green grass thing.once into it , it all sucks-BIG TIME..i too am bored with my job...if not for the fat pay on the 1st of every month....*SIGH*.....

I wanna be a CHef.....Thats my dream. I want to have a restaurant and cook as a profession.....sounds wonderful to me, hope its not again the grass thing....Nice to know that u r back...welcome back.:)

Vyazz said...

Its been ages since I visited your blog, and I'm glad to note that at least ur back to writing, writers block or know writers block. The thing about writing is that its something that flows smoothly when you take up your pen. or in this case, when you get at the keyboard!!
Dont think too much bout it....just chill and take things as they come!!! :)

Avinash Nair said...

Nice article. Good to see you write again.
Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work for which he is best suited. A third of the software engineers would swear that theirs is the worst job imaginable. There was a time before IT revolution when we referred to employed person which invariably meant employed in public sector. Time has changed since then. Most of the youngsters coming out of professional college get a job and nice pay. Still ask them is this the place you want to be, answer in most cases will be no. I have seen people working amongst me who wants to a civil servant, director, writer, teacher, cop, house wife and what not. Seldom I come across person who wants to be a software engineer. Nobody can enjoy a work when in inside he feels that he should be something else.
Be the person inside it or outside. Anyway nobody is going sit a code for the entire duration of life.
I hope that you won't stuck up any block from now on. Continue writing and hoping that you won't have starve yourself.