But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Monday, September 8, 2008


"How long do you think we are going to enjoy life..??",Shini asked me during one of our bunk hours..

Bunking and loitering around has become our only means of ENJOYMENT in this ever sucking college of mine.. It's not that there was not any paper which was a hard to miss one..but that it was those bone-cracking boring lectures which were hard to attend... It's been a honed hobby of mine to sit and brood how people manage to blabber in front of a crowd even after knowing that not any live soul was listening..

... '..Ma'am,how could you omit that term to reach that step..?',an enthused student upon whom slumber has not bestowed its caress yet.. '..Listen,we are performing a proof,and our only aim is to reach the final step somehow and prove the result..',.. has been an irrevocable scrap in the drama..may be some lecturers ad lib a bit and veil their ignorance diplomatically by saying .. '..See,that term is negligibly small and it doesn't matter any more in the derivation..' ..nevertheless,the effect remains the same.. FYI sit in such a stupid class and curse yourself to be destined to hear all these craps and sit numb castrating all your logic..

66 was not any number which was writ large for a big mob,..neither was it so diminutive to neglect.. If you are scratching your head thinking what my point was about this number,66 is my class strength..but frankly enough i still have a doubt if there were exactly 66 people in my class..not that my peers were extra silent and extra ordinarily decent not to mark their presence..but that with all these fucking 80% attendance and other disciplinary measures,the number has been plummeting sedately,with all those year-outs and suspensions and dismissals..

How could someone not manage at least 80% attendance in a sem..?',as any other innocent fresher,even i had such doubtful mushrooms in my mind when in first year..innocence and age has always been inversely proportional you see..and as time sped by,like for every other rotting engineering aspirant condonations and year-outs have become entangled with the technical jargons..and sleeping in the class has just been the mere efforts to manage an 80+% attendance..

"WHAT?? Do you mean to say we are enjoying now..??You call this life rocking??",I almost barked at her.. I apologize if i failed to imbue the closeness in my words,but shini is my best friend..

"See,i didn't mean to blow a rock-on in this asylum..but we are at least having some fun,right?",well,she seemed to be satiated with her present situation..

"What do you mean girl.?Is just bunking and loitering,the yardsticks of fun? Or is just watching some movies,enjoyment?"

"Then what do you want us to do?Go to some disco clubs and dance? Or just hang around like stray animals?"

"I didn't mean to say that,you see.."

"Yeah,i know what you meant.I certainly didn't mean to say we were enjoying here..with all these sucking classes and the assignments and the sessionals and the ever dragging university exams,life is definitely mundane here..But see,there's something apart from the material happiness.."

Man,it's too easy to bullshit philosophies and advices,.even i do it myself since that's the only marketable product without a capital investment..but trust me,being at the receiving end is like being stranded in a hell..you can neither lurch apart nor can you speak back and slacken the other person's alacrity..i had no other go but to listen..

"..see,let alone the happiness you get from movies and discos and hang-outs and bunks.There's something else that you cherish through out your life.. and that's the friendship you secure.."
Alright,so she was not totally blunt..after all she had a point..

"So what was your point?How long do we enjoy means what?",i spoke after a long gap,.long enough,for mostly it might be me blabbering more in a conversation..

"I was asking how long will we be together..we just have a year left in the college and very less class hours with all those external projects coming amid the acads.. Mine was a rhetorical question,you dumb-ass.I didn't mean to gambit a discourse.. I was just sad how we'll meet up after the course..",She snapped back and then we had nothing more to talk about..sometimes silence conveys more than hollers..we just sat there morosely for a while,.and by that time bell rang and we left for the class..

Each friend represents a world in us,.a world possibly not born until they arrive..and it's only by this meeting that a new world is born.. They are the only ones who accept you the way you are,without expecting anything in return.. They are the only souls who pull your torso out when you are suffocating in a confined aisle..


Life is all about friendship.. When you are young,parents and siblings are your friends.. Your peers take up that place in due course.. Then your spouse becomes your best friend.. In your old-age,your off-springs are your best pals.. Best of all relationships sprouts when you expect less.. As in the case of innocence and age, relationships and expectations do not always go hand-in-hand.. Love more,hope less..

Love you all,my dear sweet friends..amour tu cher ami..

Khuda Hafiz


Aileen said...

well abt this blog like every mescian me too ve feelings like this .........
how long ??????????
And this is a truth we must agree with and another group of good frnds will be with us for another time and again one more fare well ...............
but this time its very hard to say good bye .................

Another Blogger said...

well written..
we don't know what we have till it's gone..

but frnds can remain forever.. if not through presence then through bittersweet memories..

Neeraj P R Panicker said...

u get 8 out of 10...
nice thoughts n better presentation...
truly awesome... :)

not a blogger yet said...

def. good but then dont get offinsive, some reader might not like it. About the friendship..once evolved its for ever. The College is just a Incitement.

jithu said...

... ur thots on paper kept me contemplated for a lil while abt what frenz really mean in lyf given the fact that lyfz really short... to short that u need more than a lifetime to really comprehend it !!!!! "how long " ...isnt really the dubiousness that ne1 thinks abt i guess .... when ur frenz vth some1 ....he/she will really leave their footmark in ur heart vhter u know it or not... vther we meet them l8er in lyf or not is something that we have to leave it to destiny .... but how manyz frenz have u made in ur lyf tym .... ? thaz the true question i feel ... coz lyfs really short... the more frenz u have the better lyfs gonna be ...

anitha said...

nice posting gaaay..
bt don't know what to comment on...on college life or on friendship??i feel my views r applicable to both..do not count them,ur friendships n ur coll. days.....once v think of them v will b frightened abt their end...juz live n njoy tat beautiful phase.....