But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The T!

I'd always wanted to be born a boy.. At least,being born a girl in India,that too Kerala,that too in a pretty much orthodox family,i'd more than once wished if only i were born a boy! (I used 'born a boy' only as a gag to those pricks who would come up with suggestions on Gender Reassignment Surgery!)..

Every time i found a boy having a nightout with friends,or a trip to Goa/Pondi or a bike tour, i whined on why the hell was i born a girl,.why couldn't my parents be one of those supporting a female infanticide(of course,that was a bit exaggerated!)..Another of those endless things i missed was a booze party,.of course not to booze myself,but to see how this liquid helped people overcome all the inhibitions,to see how people transform into someone totally strange,to some kind of a blissful existence at least for a lull!,.I'd even asked my dad once to find me a groom who would drink,and believe me when i say that he gave me one such sarcasm filled guffaw which i would never forget in a lifetime!! :D

But now,I'm highly grateful to God that i was born a girl in it's fullest sense and not as someone who can be termed neither or either!!Everytime i walk around a busy street in Blore,i get to meet the heavily built,yet deceivingly beautiful,people,who,even though they wish to be called so,are not women..People,who have not a definite gender,or a clear identity or existence.. People who are looked upon with utter aversion by every goddamn person.. People who wouldn't be hired,neither can they be self employed,thus being rendered helpless and left to choose among begging/looting for their existence.. People who wouldn't be admitted in any school or college,thus contributing themselves to the illiterate shits of India who hamper the growth of India into a super-power..

I'm highly grateful to God that i was born with a proper XX,due to which my parents are not a tad ashamed to bring me up and not abandon me in my infancy!I'm grateful to God that i have a home,and a loving family,and a proper education which didn't eventually leave me jobless,and not fend for myself when i didn't know the chromosomal difference between a male and a female!

Without an identity,they have no say in running the democratic process.. Without a vote,none of the political mavericks are interested in their issues,not that they are interested in ours..

Till date i'm not sure if LGB is a reality or fantasy like in dostana as i've never once come across one of the kind.. But not in the case of 'T'.. If i were to say,transgenders definitely need a better consideration than making them part of the LGBT resolution... Their problem is not one of dignity for their 'needs',but of existence,identity and survival..And an amendment in an article wouldn't help them be a part of our nation,.the attitude of the society of which you and i are a part,should change.. And it's high time we stop reservations based on cast,creed or religion,but devote in giving a helping hand to those who are in real need of it!

A nation remains handicapped so long as it ignores a,howsoever diminutive,part of it's citizens.. And so long as it ignores their needs,it's growth will only be a fallacy..

Khuda Hafiz


ZB said...

Humm, Let me explain from the point of view of a testosterone filled, blue blooded male- It aint all that sunny-sunny,or rosy-rosy out here as a male....I always complain to my wife, how she is not expected to be a bread winner, and how she doesn't have to be worried of future old age, not worry about having to go to the office and face those stupid meetings and business improvement brain storming sessions....how i wish i could be at home as a househusband, taking care of my daughter.A woman at some point has to leave the career to raise a family.

And getting drunk, and losing inhibition is more like women faking organisms in those porn movies.I was a heavy drinker from 24 years to 25 years( 8 months to be precise.) of my life....i stopped just because i realized i was just blowing away money, and not even losing my inhibition which was expected....more than half of the people act drunk...believe me its a fact.OK, brain does get slow down and response time is reduced, buts its the same when suddenly you are awaken from a deep sleep by someone and asked to drive a car...Even after 6-7 pegs i used to be equally self conscious and myself, unlike what is shown in movies(devdas style)...just that i couldnt stand steady and felt drowsy...

And u r 100 time fortunate that you are born a women in Kerala. Bihar, Up or any place in north for that matter ruled by male driven society, kill a woman 100 times in their life time...TC:)

ZB said...

and i thought those hijras of Mumbai, Delhi or Blore turn so more for economic reasons than being born without a proper tool...I think all those hijras are born male and they dress and act feminine for a career....Very-very rarely does mother nature commit such manufacturing defects as not provide a person with a definite gender...and in India there are close to a mmillion transgenders..... Mother nature is too sophisticated and well trained to not do such blunders of such magnitude....

I still dont understand homosexuality or lesbianism....but i recently read somewhere that there are many more species, other than humans, who are homosexuals....so it must be natural.

Jidhu Jose said...

"Smell the Roses"

Bhargavi Kashyap said...

Dose are just mood swings... :D
eery girl has it every now n den...later realises how blessed she is :) :)
i've had many too..n still have it ;)

consider urself lucky to b born on Kerala...cant say much bout the orthodox part..but people teher are more aware n anxious to learn.
Recently, i visited Kerala with my family...people dere are so warm and helpful :) :)
u r lucky...girls in UP, Bihar, Rajasthan, dont evn get the privilege of gettin elemenatry education..leave beside talkin to their father bout gettin a groom who drinks :) :)
transgenders is a tender topic.. :)
i completly agree wid ZB..mother nature rarely does that blunder :)

liked the way u wrote :) :)

sujata said...

I have always loved being a girl. I can be myself, I get all the protection I need, and the chivalry. I am fussed over, I am spoilt, I am pampered and I work for the love of it, and not as a necessity. Men have it real bad, if you ask me.

Anonymous said...


ZB said...

Typo *Organism*=Orgasms....:D

wise donkey said...

wonderful post:) only couple of years back the passport dept got a 3rd column. still they are viewed as an object of fun.

on being a boy, well there are benefits to being a boy, there are benefits to being a cockroach too. people get scared of you and free food. but whats the point of life without challenges:)

wise donkey said...

zb there are women who do both, take care of home and work,
why should be men worry about the image.

ps i am all for men staying at home. then only the homemaker would get respect. not easy i agree, but then biases have to be broken someday

wise donkey said...

zb what next, mother nature will not produce infertile people?

i got your point regarding numbers, but what sort of careers do they have.

wise donkey said...

bhargavi, being a transgender is not mother nature's blunder, just another form of mother nature.

is it so tough to be sensitive and treat transgenders as humans!!

Bhargavi Kashyap said...

no it is not so tough to treat transgenders like Humans...!!

but do u not have a hitch when u c dem..!!
it really easy to say...real hard to follow..!!
n its not bout just one person....!!

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

well well i will say the grass is greener on the other side as in the comments Being a male is not that rosie either..

different sort of requirements and expectations take place towards a boy..

and beleive me zooming on bikes, boozing etc etc doesnot last long

anyway what you mentioned we have had that here a lot , so now when we ask someone we have to be very cautious, I have the headings Male , female etc etc Written on sheet of paper and laminated ..
I dont take the risk of branding someone so when the time comes , out comes the sheet and I let them decide what to put in the Gender column...

before my job i did have a laugh sometimes , easpecially when i was in india but i guess with AGE i have become understanding and one has to be politically correct too these days :)

first time here excellent article ..

Anonymous said...

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家唐銘 said...

It is easier to get than to keep it.......................................................................