But, is it nothing to know when you are dying, when you are about to take leave of this world, of its joys and sorrows, when the past of your life is unfurled before you, when eternity opens wide its portals, is it nothing to know at that last awful,supreme moment of your lives, that you have not lived in vain, that you have lived for the benefit of others, that you have lived to help in the cause of your country's regeneration?

-Surendranath Banerjea

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Alive

I'd been away for a while..and so will i be again after this lull..I wanted to call it a siesta..but i literally had the siesta even before i ate..Pun apart,I was finally into corporate world joining the league of those infinite poor innocent  souls waiting for the month end for the pay slip..

I'd been a day-schii throughout my life..hostels were not something i liked,coz i appreciated a bit of privacy and a lot of freedom..hostels provided neither..And to someone who had never been away from the home,the comfort zone,this definitely was 'an experience'..Howsoever people lauded the combination of money with freedom when it came to working somewhere away from the hometown,there are times,when your mind reiterates the fact that there's nowhere on earth more heavenly than the home..there's no one on earth more caring than the parents..

It's just been a fortnight since i joined,and it already feels like years..I missed my home like hell..Not that i had any worries there,but it's just like that..i missed my mom,my dad,bro..my room,pc,.my courtyard..my honda activa..my friends..What not..How i wished every morning,to find myself wake up out of just a dream,into the real world being my home,which obviously was just a hope hopen..To even think that i would be in a place where i wouldn't see my dad and mom get back home tired from the office,or to find my bro snoring before the heap of books,or to find myself busily smsing a friend was all hurtful..Every evening i wished for that cup of coffee my mom gave..and those cookery shows i performed at home..and those long enlightening discussions with my dad on topics varying from current ones to personal stuffs..and those wacky talks with my bro on his crush..

I knew this was life..This was how it was destined to be,and this was my time to earn,and accomplish all those long cherished dreams in life..But the emotional self keeps peeping out..I might sound weird or crazy or soppy..May be i am..Life is a bigger picture than just a courtyard or a cup of tea..but I still find it difficult..even with those friends around,and even with those 5 star facilities i'm provided with,all i wish for is,an endless today,so that my diwali holidays don't end,and i don't need to return tomo..

PS:I know this is nothing more than a short sulking post..do bear with me,if not empathize..

Note:Life is good as of now but for these bouts of home-sickness..I'm kinda in an isolated world where laptops are not allowed..and the company provides a net which has almost all those useful sites,(to be read as gmail,yahoo,facebook,orkut,twitter,blogger) blocked..And hence i can by no means read your blogs until i find some proxy..So I apologize for my absence!!

Khuda Hafiz
~Gayathri~